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7 Signs Your Leading in Child Centered Play Therapy

6/11/2025

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Are you really being Child Centered when you’re doing Child Centered Play Therapy?

Using Child Centered Play Therapy in the playroom means that you are providing a safe space for children to express themselves, explore their emotions, and process their experiences - with the child leading the way. 

And for some therapists who practice Child Centered Play Therapy - some direction and control can (unintentionally) creep in without you even knowing it! ​
First check out more about when you NEED to be directive in Child Centered Play Therapy HERE!

Next I wanted to share the top 7 ways therapists unintentionally lead their clients in Child Centered Play Therapy HERE: 

Asking questions about the child’s play. 

Yes, questions are allowed in CCPT, however they are to be used extremely sparingly and are typically used to understand the role the therapist is being asked to play.  Most often? It's done with the whisper technique. When a therapist asks questions about what a child is doing, why they are doing it, or what a child is thinking, it leads the play.

First, it pivots the play sequence to focus on answering the questions (a left brain response) rather than participating in the play. AND based on how the child interprets the question, such as if the question means the therapist is disapproving of the play OR a child experiencing overwhelm if they don’t know how to answer the question (or don’t want to answer the question), the whole play sequence could be shut down and your rapport with the child is at risk. 


Telling the child to do something a specific way 

This one is kind of obvious, however it can be SO sneaky in Child Centered Play Therapy! It can be a natural urge to want to tell kids how to do something in a more efficient way or alter their behavior to adhere to societal norms (ie not cheating in games), however this disrupts the promise and therapeutic value of Child Centered Play Therapy when the adults take control. We need to let kids take the long (and less efficient) way, mess up, or play in ways that don't need to make sense to us as the therapist! 

Experiments. 

If you are doing anything with intention to see how a child reacts you are leading and introducing ideas and influence to a child’s play.  Our job is to use our facilitative statements and tracking to help children integrate their experiences, feel understood, understand themselves better. If a child places us in a role we are to be an excellent actor and do exactly what the child wants us to do within the role.  If we are moving objects, selecting toys, or acting in a way just to “see what the child will do” we are directing! 

Helping. 

Check out more HERE about what to do when children struggle in Child Centered Play Therapy. If you go to help a child without them asking (unless there is a major safety issue) you are leading the play.  Sometimes kids don’t want help, helping gives the message that kids aren’t capable, and sometimes the struggle is the metaphor of the play. Either way - helping takes the power and control away from the child. 

Suggesting play materials or sequences. 

If you are giving suggestions about what the child might do in the playroom - you are leading the play.  AND this is definitely something that is a part of many directive play therapy theories - just not Child Centered Play Therapy.  If you find yourself saying things like “Do you want to play with the dolls today?” or “You haven’t played in the sandtray in awhile - should we do that today?” or even as simple as setting out different play toys and materials (where they are typically not stored) is leading.  Even if you think certain play materials and toys may be helpful, it isn’t always what the child needs, wants, or is ready for. 

Provide an intentional corrective or regulating experience. 

Sometimes in play therapy things get intense. It might be a battle, a parent yelling at a child, or a bossy peer at school.  And sometimes - the child might put YOU in that intense role in the play.  If you intentionally create an experience and go “off script” to soothe the child, give kind words, or ask to use a regulation skill, this is directing the play.  If the child has given you a script where it makes sense for you to give kind words or offer soothing (or soothe yourself) you are being an A+ actor and not leading the play! 

Give value to the play. 

Check out more HERE about the importance of unconditional positive regard in CCPT. If a child asks you how you like their drawing and you say “It’s so great I LOVE it!” or they balance on one foot for an impressively long time and you say “good job!” this is leading the play! 

So there you have it! The top 7 reasons therapists end up leading the play in Child Centered Play Therapy!  Hopefully you can use this list to evaluate if there are any ways to directives have crept into your Child Centered Play Therapy work!

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    Hi, there!

    I'm Ann Meehan, an LPCC,
    ​RPT-S
    ™, and EMDR Consultant. I help therapists that work with kids and teens go from a place of stress and survival to inspired and thriving.  I give child therapists the resources, tools, and skills they need to be effective and confident in their practice!

    I am organization obsessed, coffee loving, playful therapist who is showing up for life in the north woods of Minnesota. 

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  • Home
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    • About Play Therapy
    • Continued Growth and Learning
    • Recommended Readings
    • Online Sources for CE
    • Professional Groups