A Play Therapy Tool To Help Decrease Anxiety: Companions

For kids with anxiety, the amount of tools you can use to help support emotional regulation are nearly endless. 

I wanted to share about one type of tool I use in play therapy to help kids and teens get through life’s big events.  And this tool?  It can be used anywhere from shots, surgery, a first practice with a new team, or any other stressful and distressing life event.

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This tool is considered a resource, which is anything that helps build and strengthen a child’s emotional resiliency, stability, and sense of security.  Resourcing is a common and essential practice in my work with EMDR clients and it helps children and teens develop and strengthen both inner self resources and representations of external resources with positive traits and characteristics to get through hard things.  It is also a powerful tool and intervention outside of EMDR that I use in my play therapy practice! 

One of my favorite ways to use this tool is by developing something called “companions”.   I have heard Ana Gomez talk extensively about companions when taking her trainings and intensives in EMDR and absolutely LOVE this language as it communicates that a child isn’t alone. 

Many physical objects and mental representations can be considered a resource including stuffies, small gems, created art pieces, mental visualizations, a rainbow, a superhero, etc. The sky really is the limit.

For younger kids I do believe it is essential to have a tactile and physical representation of the companion, and for older kids it can be physical or mental.  When developing a companion first you need to select what object or mental representation will be used. 

Next these are four important questions I ask to develop and flush out how a companion can support a child or teen: 

• What traits and characteristics does your companion have that can be helpful to you [in general OR during a big life event]?
• How do you feel inside when you have the support of your companion?
• What thoughts or self-talk statements do you have when you have the support of your companion?
• What are the biggest ways your companion helps you [in general OR during a big life event]?

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Next, you process how and when the child will access this resource.  Is it a drawing that comes home? A takeaway object from your office? A mental image they can call up? 

Get detailed and specific - and then try it out!  

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