There are 1.4 million reasons and counting that trigger dysregulation.
Sometimes there are patterns where we can see there is one issue or situation that is really difficult for a child, that may or may not be related to trauma. Other times the level of overwhelm and dysregulation is so chronically high that one tiny thing can send a child’s nervous system over the edge.
As a child therapist I am always looking for these partners, underlying stressors, and common factors as the keys to helping a child increase their regulatory capacity. Don’t get me wrong, I am also looking for a child’s strengths and situations that they are able to use skills and regulate through tough things so we can grow those areas of resiliency.
So, I wanted to share one dynamic that I often see with clients when talking about dysregulation and the one question I ask to go deeper. Technically the pattern I see is when a child doesn’t have the skills or abilities to meet the expectations or structure of the environment. According to Lisa Dion, more on that HERE, one of the threats to the nervous system is unrealistic expectations. In real life, this might look like parents having an expectation for a small child to keep a clean room but the amount of toys is over the child’s capacity to begin to sort and put away. It could also look like a child with ADHD having to remember an entire morning routine without support. Sometimes it can look like a child who struggles with transitions and then is scheduled for soccer practice 5 nights per week, travels every weekend, and has tutoring before school 2 days per week. So the question I ask myself and parents? “Can the child’s nervous system actually handle what is being asked or expected?” If the answer is yes - you can work with the child individually on breaking through barriers for task completion. Most often though, the answer is NO! What is being asked and/or the current expectation and structure of the environment is way outside what the child’s nervous system can handle leading to dysregulations and meltdowns. And once we can understand if the dysregulation is being caused by something that is outside of what the child’s nervous system can handle we can begin to help increase external supports, decrease expectations, or both! Looking for more resources for regulation? Check out my training on Keep Calm and Regulate On: Play Therapy and the Neuroscience of Emotional Regulation! Loading...
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Hi, there!I'm Ann Meehan, an LPCC, Loading... Archives
January 2025
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