How to Ease Separation Anxiety: The One Travel Hack That Keeps Kids Calm (and Connected)

When “Next Week” Never Calms Down: The Reality of Busy Family Life

As a parent I found myself saying “It’ll all calm down next week after we get through [insert event/activity here]” Every. Single. Week.
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Spoiler alert - it hasn’t yet. 

AND if I expect my clients to use the skill of radical acceptance, I definitely need to take my own advice.  Life is busy, wonderful, hectic, and chaotic.  

Seasons, Schedules, and the Never-Ending Cycle of Change

This also means that each season of the year brings so many transitions.  In the fall it’s back to school, fall breaks, and winter holiday celebrations and then more breaks. Then, after you have two slow, long deep breaths, you plunge into spring break, end of school year chaos, and land (slightly ruffled) into the summer season.  

Now, depending on where you live, summer season can be anything but lay-by-the-beach vibes.  Here in Minnesota? We need to cram 12 months of summer activities into 3.  That means every sunshine and summertime moment has something cued up, and before you know it, the back-to-school supplies are hitting the shelf.

Then you repeat - over and over again. If you see kids - this is likely their life too. 

And inevitably these seasons, events, times, and transitions bring times where kids need to be separated from their parents. Maybe it’s a work trip, maybe it’s visiting a relative, a vacation, a sibling that has a sporting event out of town, or 1,000 other reasons parents need to be away from their kids. 

Sometimes it’s planned. Sometimes it’s unexpected. 

When this happens, kids with anxiety struggle.  Kids with separation anxiety REALLY struggle. 

Now, if you need some support, tips, and tools for working with transition anxiety regarding events check out this post HERE for how a simple piece of paper can make ALL the difference for decreasing anxiety for big transitions. 

A Playful New Twist on the Classic Transition Object

I wanted to add another playful and fun tool to your toolbox for the kids that you work with when they need to be separated from a parent. 

Traditionally transition objects are something that stays with the child, but for this intervention?  The companion goes with the parent.  

So here’s how it works.  The child selects something meaningful (but not too meaningful) to travel with the parent or caregiver and have some adventures. The object needs to be fun, playful, and small-ish enough to travel with.  

Then, the parent takes the companion on an adventure. Think pictures in the airport, at dinner, snuggled up in bed, or at landmarks. These pictures get sent to the caregiver that is watching the child as a way to increase connection. 

Why This Works: Control, Predictability, and Comfort From Afar

It’s fun. It’s playful. It also gives the child a sense of control - choosing the animal, figure or stuffie, and making requests of what this object may or may not like to do. Additionally, it helps decrease the anxiety of the unknown, helping kids understand and see where their parent is and what they are doing. 

Kids who are anxious will often create a story that follows their anxiety regarding what their parent is doing and how it might be dangerous or unsafe. Seeing it in real life can calm the fear, worries, and anxiety. 

And with kids that are younger, sometimes staying on the phone or engaging in conversation when a parent is away can fizzle out.  It gives the parent and child a fun topic to talk about and creates some predictability for the child so they know what to expect. 

My Real-Life Example: Three Dinos Go On An Adventure 

The picture with this blog?  Those happened to be my three dino companions my son sent on an adventure with me to a training.  He liked dinosaurs, but they weren’t as invaluable as his favorite stuffie.  We had a bunch of miniature figures so parting with them was low risk, but still an area of interest and excitement. 

He got pictures of their airport coffee run (because of course), “jumping” on the bed in the hotel, hanging out with a cactus, getting buckled up on the plane, and playing in the sand tray. 

It was a super fun way for us to keep connection and decrease the stress of being apart! If you see kids with anxiety and stress about separating from their parent, you need to add this tool to your parent toolbox, and be sure to ask how the adventure went! 

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