The 3 Times You Need To Be Directive In Child Centered Play Therapy

If you tell me you are a play therapist, you both tell me a lot and very little about what you believe about growth, change, and healing with children. 

You tell me a lot in regards to your understanding of what is developmentally appropriate and necessary for kids to heal and grow, and that they need interventions beyond talk therapy. ​

It also doesn’t tell me about how you believe healing should be accomplished. A Child Centered Play Therapist, a Cognitive Behavioral Play Therapist, a Synergetic Play Therapist, and an Ecosystemic Play Therapist would likely have different answers for how children change and the specific interventions and techniques they are using (and at what time in the therapy) to help with this process. 

Additionally the play therapy world can oftentimes be split into two categories of “directive” and “non-directive”.  In nondirective play therapy, the therapist's role is to observe and reflect, providing a supportive presence that facilitates the child's self-expression and problem-solving abilities. In directive play therapy, the therapist takes a more active role in guiding the play to address specific issues.

There are many theories that fall completely directive or completely nondirective and many that fall in between. But what isn’t a theory - “nondirective play therapy”.  Check out more about the difference between Child Centered and Child Led Play Therapy HERE! 

And the reason this is so important to note? Everything you do in the playroom should be guided by theory.  Even therapists that are prescriptive or eclectic should have a theory guiding the what and the how of play. 

One of the biggest things I see come up with therapists who are attempting to provide nondirective play therapy without having the training or theoretical backing to understand how they are (unintentionally) directing the play.

Why is this important? 

The promise of Child Centered Play Therapy is that children get to be in control. To do almost anything they might like. Without grownups trying to influence, censor, or control what they are playing and how they are playing.

And playing in this way? It’s a gift. It’s sacred and special. It’s healing. 

And as a trusted therapist we don’t want to go back on our word and break the promise of Child Centered Play Therapy by exerting our control and ideas. At the same time - there are several specific situations where according to Child Centered Play Therapy, therapists need to exert control.

If you need a refresher on your Child Centered Play Therapy skills grab your free cheat sheet HERE! 

Now, check out the 3 times you need to be directive in Child Centered Play Therapy: 

Session Structure 

The therapist has control of creating the structuring of the session.  This includes your entry to the playroom statement, 10 minute, 5 minute, and 1 minute warnings, and exiting from the playroom. This structure is not one of the decisions the child gets to make in the session. 

Questions 

Questions provide direction and influence in the play.  So why are questions on this list? Well, questions should be used extremely sparingly. Preferably to gain understanding about your role in the play rather than to ask a client to explain their actions.  The use of the whisper technique can also hand control and permissiveness back to the client.  Additionally with questions - clients are free to answer the questions - or not! 

Limits 

There is some debate in the play therapy community about exactly when and why to set limits. But, whatever that looks like for you in your practice, limits are a way to ensure safety, promote responsibility, support the therapeutic relationship, and help with emotional regulation. And because the limit setting method sets boundaries on what a child cannot do, it is directive.  

Beyond these three times and situations, in Child Centered Play Therapy, the child should be fully in control of the play! I hope this helps bring clarity into the purpose of when to be directive in Child Centered Play Therapy and when to let kids lead the way!

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