Why Using Skills Is Harder For Kids With Trauma in Play Therapy

One of the most important case conceptualization questions I ask for kids with dysregulation (and let’s be honest - nearly every diagnosis deals with regulation in some capacity) is “does this child have a trauma history?” 

Want to know more about how trauma affects emotional dysregulation check out Part 1 and Part 2 in my series about what every therapist should know about how trauma affects emotional regulation. 

I wanted to focus in on something makes up the foundation of the work we do with kids and teens - emotional regulation skills! So, going back to my very important case conceptualization question - why does trauma history matter? 

Well, the human brain can process 11 million bits of information every second, and some would argue significantly more.  Beyond being a fascinating fact, what we know about trauma memories is that these memories are stuck in our neural networks in isolated form (complete with all the sensations, thoughts, feelings, and images) and when triggered it is like we are taken back in time to when the trauma occurred. Check out my much cooler way to explain trauma to kids HERE using inside out! 

The difficult news is this reaction often happens so quickly that the prefrontal cortex doesn’t have a chance to respond with the good reason, logic, and toolbox that you have built in therapy. What typically happens is that the skills for safety and survival that made sense in the time of trauma are the only options available to the brain. Annnnnd what made sense back then often doesn't make sense now. 

This becomes even more complex with the fact that only 40-50 out of the 11 million bits of data are conscious so sometimes (or a lot of the time) a child or parent can’t connect what in the here and now led to trauma triggering.  For this reason it can seem like the reaction “came out of nowhere” or isn’t connected to the trauma at all.

So what are we as therapists to do? Give up on teaching skills? Have radical acceptance and just let the trauma response happen?

Well not exactly.  For young kids sometimes it takes a TON of education with parents to help them understand how a child's (seemingly unconnected) dysregulation could be connected to trauma and at the same time build their co-regulation skills.  Check out my absolutely FREE guide for parents HERE! 

Next, for kids and teens with trauma, the expectation of how quickly and effectively the regulation skills should take to work need to be altered.  It will likely be a longer path of practicing, having external support systems, and having a deeper understanding of warning signs before regulation skills are effective.

Lastly, and this is one of the most important factors, unless the trauma memories that are leading to the trauma triggering and dysregulation are healed, the significant dysregulation will likely continue. So the answer to emotional regulation and trauma work is often much more than simple regulation skills! 

Need more resources and support for emotional regulation? Check out my training on Keep Calm and Regulate On: Play Therapy and the Neuroscience of Emotional Regulation! ​

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