5 Myths About Working With Kids We Need to Leave Behind

Last Updated: January 29, 2026

When you’ve worked with kids for more than a minute—or especially when you’re starting as a child therapist or diving into play therapy—you quickly bump into common myths. Sometimes, you might even start to believe them.

These myths often show up in play therapy training, supervision, and early clinical work with children—and they can quietly undermine confidence if left unchallenged.
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So, I’m breaking down 5 myths about working with kids in therapy and getting real about what it is actually like to work with kids. ​

Myth #1: You Need the “Perfect Toys” to Be an Effective Play Therapist

One of the most frequent questions I hear from new play therapists is: “What toys do I need to start?” *Cue the anxiety and imposter syndrome* 

Most therapists starting to work with kids worry that they have to have all the “right” play therapy toys to be effective. 

The truth? Children’s imagination and resilience means they can use whatever toys you have to tell their stories, process pain, and engage in healing.

For those who want a more comprehensive list, the University of North Texas has an excellent Child-Centered Play Therapy toy guide. But remember: theory should lead the way. A Child Centered Play Therapy room may look different than the tools needed for Tele-Play or Theraplay! 

My best tip? Start small with a Portable Playroom setup—compact, but covering all the essentials.

But…. the bigger secret?  There is no perfect toy. No perfect setup. No perfect combination.  

The toys will only go as far as you can hold space for as a therapist.

As Lisa Dion emphasizes,  (here and here) the most important “tool” in your playroom is you. It’s not the perfect shiny toys—it’s holding the therapeutic space for the child.
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THERAPIST TOOLKIT: Learn how to set up your play therapy room 

Myth #2: Child Therapists Have to Know All the Latest “Kid Stuff"

When I first moved from working with teens to elementary school kids, I panicked. 

“I don’t even know anything about kid stuff!” was the first thing that flew out of my mouth during supervision the week after I got reassigned. 

How in the heck was I going to connect Kindergarten students who were interested in Disney movies, video games, and pogs.  Did kids even still play with pogs? I didn’t even know! (They didn’t.) No beanie babies either. 

I was anxious about how I was going to connect, build rapport, and engage when I didn’t know the slightest bit about the latest toys, lingo, or technology.

Here’s the truth: you don’t have to know it all. You won’t know every trend, game, or toy.  And actually, authenticity is way more important in the playroom than trying to keep up on every trend (coming from someone who googled 67 waaay too much).   

What matters is: getting curious, asking questions, and letting the child lead the way.

Some practical tips for connecting with kids: 

• Join in their play world
• Ask open-ended questions
• Be genuinely interested in what they are saying and doing 
• Use a little Google research when needed
  
  
  

Even now, I don’t know how to play Animal Crossing, what exactly a hatchimal is, or why kids arrive on an island by bus—but curiosity and openness go a long way.

RELATED RESOURCE: Building Rapport and Engagement With Children in Play Therapy 

Myth #3: Play Therapy Requires a Separate, Dedicated Playroom

Most play therapy training will talk about big dreamy playrooms, open shelves, in-office sinks, and wipeable floors. *sigh* 

And although that sounds amazing, I’ve never had a play space like that. 

My first “real” office? Was a teeny tiny space that also housed the janitor's closet. Talk about big play and healing play in small spaces. 

I have played in the corner of conference rooms, out of a suitcase, virtual, and in “hybrid” offices that housed both my kid and teen sessions.  In one of my favorite play therapy books Doing Play Therapy, Terry Kottman and Kristen Meany-Walen talk about playing in a corner of a hallway in a school setting.

What do all of these spaces have in common? Meaningful therapeutic work was happening through the therapeutic powers of play.
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The key is the therapeutic relationship, not the location, size of the room, or amount of toys.

Myth #4: Working With Kids in Therapy Means Nights and Weekends​

Some believe being a child therapist means sacrificing balance, which is absolutely not true. 

And sacrificing balance? It can actually make you more burnt out and less effective. 

When I first worked in community mental health multiple days of late evenings were required. This left me with “bookend days” where my mornings would fill, my evenings would fill, and I would be left with a giant gap in the middle of the day. 

Before I got my scheduling systems down that now allow me to have a full schedule in the middle of the day and evenings free, it was absolutely exhausting AND I was struggling to hit my client numbers.  

When I transitioned to private practice, I realized setting boundaries and managing my schedule actually improves my work. Now, I work mornings and leave the office by 4–5pm. 

I’ve had this schedule for years, don’t struggle to fill my mid-day spots (even transitioning from a large metro area to rural northern Minnesota), and find that this balance and schedule freedom leaves me with more capacity to do the hard work we do in play therapy.  
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THERAPIST TOOLKIT: 6 Resources to Create Your Ideal Therapy Schedule ​

Myth #5: Kids Can’t Handle Difficult Topics in Play Therapy​

Parents and other professionals sometimes believe children can’t handle difficult topics like adoption, parental suicide, incarceration, or addiction. 

And honestly? The urge to bubble wrap kids and keep them from hard (age appropriate) conversations is usually more about the grownups than the kids.  About not knowing if the grownups can co-regulate and handle facing the hard stuff. 

Sometimes adults will “sugar coat” things in the moment to make kids feel better, but long term this almost always causes more dysregulation and distress down the road. 

A child finding out they are adopted at 12 or that their parent died by suicide rather than a car accident at age 18 is typically significantly detrimental to the child caregiver relationship as well as opens up significant past and present trauma and wounding that can be more complex and confusing for kids and teens. 

FREE RESOURCE: Co-Regulation Quick Guide for Parents 

And real talk? Children soak in more than we think - both what we say and everything we don’t. When they don’t have answers, kids create their own stories and narratives—often inaccurate or self-blaming.

With age-appropriate, factual narratives, children can process tough topics safely and have greater levels of healing. 
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If you want practical strategies to help children stay calm, process difficult experiences, and regulate their emotions during play therapy, check out my play therapy training on emotional regulation. This training walks you step-by-step through tools, interventions, and case examples so you can confidently hold space for kids—even when the topics are tough.

Bottom Line: Leave These Myths Behind

Now you have the tools to wave goodbye to these myths—for yourself, your clients, and your peers.
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What other myths about working with children or play therapy do you hear often? Leave a comment below!

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