Play Therapy Activity: Strengths and Struggles

One of the things that I love about Tele-Play therapy is the creativeness that comes out of necessity!  One of the many activities I have been enjoying doing with telemental-health is playing card games virtually as a Cognitive Behavioral Play Therapy activity for my sessions and admittedly I have really settled in to playing the "old fashioned" way - with real cards. 

What you need for this activity is to each have the same set of cards or same game at each location.  I have been surprised to find that most families have UNO (one of my faves) but nearly everyone has a regular plain old deck of cards. Now, mind you, they might have creative or ummmm interesting designs on the back – and it has become one of my favorite parts to check out and compare designs.

When you are playing cards virtually, instead of laying the card you are playing face up on the discard pile, you hold it up to the screen on your turn until the next person "plays" their card.  Then, when the next person has their turn they hold up the card to the screen while you select your next play.  Pretty low tech, but works extremely well! 

I developed the game "Strengths and Struggles" (or you could call it strengths and stumbles....sunshine and struggles, really anything) based on the game of Crazy 8's.  Not sure how to play?  Here are the instructions - straight from Bicycle Cards! I also don't keep score at the end I just start a new round.  

So here is where the therapy part comes in - every time you change the symbol you need to say something according to the "therapy rules".  If you change from red to black you need to say a strength you have and if you change from black to red you need to say a struggle or a stumble.  

Let's define strength and struggle a bit deeper.  A strength can be a trait, characteristic, choice they made that benefited themselves or others, a choice they made that was hard but they did it anyway, and on and on!  Maybe they cleaned their room all on their own!  Maybe they let their sibling sit in the front seat even though it was really their turn.  And just maybe they worked really hard and completed that art project or story they were working on!

A struggle or a stumble is a time where they didn't make a choice that worked for themselves or someone else. This could be a time they didn't do a chore and lied about it, a time they got frustrated at their sibling and yelled, or a time when had anxiety thoughts going over and over in their head and weren't able to reach for a skill.  The great thing about struggles and stumbles are they are GREAT opportunities to learn and getting up is part of the journey. 

Now, here's the thing.  YOU as the therapist also have to follow the therapy rules on your turn.  This is an excellent opportunity for modeling!  You want to make sure that your examples are kid friendly.  You miiiight not want to use things that are too adult or will go right over a child's head like taxes or mortgage payments.  You also might want to soften things a bit.  If you got angry in the car about being cut off and started yelling (like really loud), you would definitely not detail the whole incident.  Keep the focus on the child and what they might benefit from hearing. You might soften to feeling angry and not using your skills of deep breathing as a stumble.  Most kids can relate to that! 

For some, you may need to brainstorm a list of things you might say for successes and struggles to avoid the blank stare look and confusion when it is your turn.  That totally misses the point of validation, normalization, and modeling that can come with this activity! 

There are so many great moments to introduce skills, challenge cognitive distortions, normalize, and provide psychoeducation (among other things) with this activity! AND you can flex it, bend it, and get creative!  Sometimes children develop the best set of unique "therapy rules" - so it is definitely an adaptable approach! 

What are your favorite "therapy rules" for therapeutic games? Let me know in the comments below! 

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