Top 5 Parenting Co-Regulation Resources and Skills

​When we are working with kids we are working with family systems.
 
And when we are working with family systems - we are working with emotional regulation and dysregulation.  Nearly all the reasons that kids present in the playroom, including anxiety, trauma, anger, and depression are all at their core difficulties with regulation.

​When we are working with parents and caregiving systems we want to make sure that we come to the table with a full toolbox of tools when we are supporting the regulation of family systems.  The client who is anxious and clinging to their parent and refusing to go to school and the client that is getting so angry and distressed that they ripped up their homework both have dysregulation difficulties - but both need a different set of tools! 
 
I wanted to help you fill your parenting toolbox by giving you my top 6 resources, downloads, and techniques for working with parents on co-regulation! 
 
Have a solid definition of emotional regulation and dysregulation 
In this post HERE we get to have a basic foundational understanding of what regulation and dysregulation are. This understanding serves as a stepping stone to all of the co-regulation skills parents will be learning and self regulation skills you may be teaching clients. 
 
Help debunk myths about regulation 
How often do we hear parents bring ideas into the playroom about regulation that well… just aren’t accurate? Check out the top four truths HERE about regulations that I wish all parents knew. 
 
Teach co-regulation vs. self-regulation 
Oftentimes parents have thoughts that kids should be able to figure out this regulation thing for themselves.  And for some kids, that’s true!  They have all the co-regulation foundational experiences to have an imprint in their brain for self-regulation.  And for other kids, they need more! AND our need for co-regulation never disappears - it’s a lifelong need.  Helping parents understand the difference helps them learn what their role is in any given emotional meltdown, upset, panic episode, or tantrum.  Do a deeper dive on co-regulation HERE! 
 
Take time to understand questions and troubleshoot co-regulation difficulties 
When I am teaching parents and caregivers co-regulation skills they usually have a TON of questions.  They try something, it doesn’t go quite right, and then they get feedback and try again.  Sometimes the questions are more resistance, fear, or something in the parent that makes it difficult to use the skills. Check out my top 7 questions I get about co-regulation and how to answer these questions with families! 
 
Use metaphor to help with understanding 
Sometimes we can give all the education in the world, get technical, get into neuroscience AND the thing that works best is a good old fashioned metaphor!  Check out this metaphor about a turtle and its shell that I use to talk about co-regulation with parents and families. 
 
Teach specific co-regulation skills 
Do you wish co-regulation came with a manual?  Me too! That’s why I created Keep Calm and Regulate On: Tips for Managing Co-Regulation Cheat Sheet for parents and caregivers.  It breaks down the specific steps and techniques for co-regulation that I teach parents in my office! 
 
So there you have it - my top 6 tips, resources, and downloads for working with parents on co-regulation! 
 
If you are looking for more support in your work with parents and caregivers in the playroom check out my course Holding Systems: Supporting Parents and Caregivers in The Playroom! 

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