When Setting Up Is Actually The Most Important Part Of The Session

Have you ever had one of these sessions?
 
A child gets out one of your dollhouses followed by all the furniture, people, characters, and accessories.  As the next 45 minutes tick by they spend the entire session setting up everything.  The beds, the bathroom, the living room, the kitchen and all the accessories. 

​Then it’s rearranging so everything is just perfect. 

This goes on into the 5 minute warning and then the session is over. 
 
You may think “we didn’t even get to the play, was this even play therapy?”
 
And the answer to that question?  Absolutely it is play therapy! 
 
What if I told you that for some kids the setup is actually the most important part?  For some kids in Child Centered Play Therapy when the spend time setting up - whether it is the house, an epic battle, or a farm - the setup is the work! 
 
Just hear me out.  In these sessions kids I see are often playing out themes of power and control at a time when life can feel powerless.  When a child sets up they have absolute full control over arranging and rearranging.  Where everything should go. AND this is often not the case in their real life. 

This theme can be common where children have rigid schedules, trauma, or loss.  It can also happen when kids are experiencing big shifts and changes in their lives like in the case of moving homes, schools, or parental divorce. 
 
Other themes that may come out of the setup are themes of perfectionism or fantasy.  Focusing on what they want their ideal life to look like or giving a character their ideal setup.  
 
Additional themes may focus on the content of WHAT is being setup.  Could it be themes of nurturing, self esteem, or value? 
 
Lastly themes also may include a therapeutic topic that feels too big, dangerous, or out of the window of tolerance to dive into so a child stays in the setup. This could be safety, danger, and trauma themes that a child may not be quite ready to approach.
 
My hope is that by using this different lens to look at sessions where a child is focused mainly on the setup, we can see this as meaningful, rich, and deep clinical play! 

Looking for more support in your Child Centered Play Therapy practice?  Check out Child Centered Play Therapy: Troubleshooting the 13 Biggest Stuck Points! ​

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