As we start to head deeper into the school year my phone is ringing off the hook. This is typically the time of year in my Minnesota practice where the shininess of school has worn off, difficulties and struggles are being highlighted, and school counselors are supporting parents with referrals.
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I recently came back from a 10 day vacation and popped open my inbox prepared for an avalanche of emails.
Full disclaimer I have three main emails I use, but it feels like a million inboxes to check. Two are for my consulting and training side of my business and one for my private practice. 
Parents come into my office with a wide range of difficulties and concerns. For some families “tantrums” can mean glaring, pouting and arm crossing and stomping to a child’s room for 15 minutes and in other families it can mean aggression, destroying property, or episodes that can last hours.
When you are teaching parents and clients a new skill or regulation technique, how often do they come back to the next session and say it didn’t work?
Oh good, it’s not just me then! 
Want to know a parenting secret?
Parenting is hard. Growing up is hard. You can’t escape the struggle. 
Doing life as a parent is complicated. It is the intricate balance between too much structure and not enough, relationship and limits, independence and boundaries. And given that each child is a completely different individual, what one child needs may not be the same as the next.
Parenting is a difficult balancing of holding the relationship, setting expectations for helpful and expected behaviors, and providing teaching and learning when the behaviors don’t meet up with expectations. Parenting is nurturing, togetherness, and fun. Parenting is fostering independence and empowering the unique qualities of what makes each child…well…them!
Validation is a powerful parenting tool that is a part of many parenting programs.
So, what exactly is validation? Validation is the recognition and acknowledging the inner experience and feelings in the moment without judgment. Holding the situation and the internal response as a valid experience given the circumstances and the child’s history. 
How often do parenting strategies and techniques work effectively and perfectly the first time you teach them to parents?
Not ever? Me too. 
Did you know that research shows that humans make 35,000 decisions per day?
The decisions that children have are markedly different than adults who likely hold jobs, can secure their own transportation, and are doing the grocery shopping. |
Hi, there!I'm Ann Meehan, an LPCC, 
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ann@meehanmentalhealth.com | Copyright Meehan Mental Health Services 2022
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ann@meehanmentalhealth.com | Copyright Meehan Mental Health Services 2022